SN2 reaction

Today I just saw a blog which I was ... err .. I dont know how to explain it. I got wish to see it but also never thought can see it. Weird rite?

I just wanna go cafe to buy some food but I turned off my intention. I'm afraid to talk to her seeing her there. I should just be brave and talk de .. Just sked donno what to talk nia .. I feel weird.. Cannot interpret what kind of feeling is this..

2 feelings .. one coming and and one breaking off .. both came at the same time.. Fuhh .. this is hard to handle.. I only wish that both side to be happy only ..

Pity Senior

I just had a senior who came over to talk about his previous love stuff.. he is sad .. he just broke up.. The girl had been cheating him.. hmm ..

I do not know the real story behind it but I do know that they should at least have a clear reason for breaking up. My senior knew nothing about it and was totally down with it.

He even planned to marry that girl adi but things can change so fast. Really pity him. Knowing nothing and yet need to feel sorrow so much ..

He looked like me last time..

Which ?

Now I really need to choose ..

Which I want to have ? Which ?

What Am I Thinking Again ?

What am I thinking again ??

Let go ?

Why can't happen ?

My mind and heart ..

So obviously confused..

Before this was very nice with the feel of something I don't understand the feeling adi de ..

But now went back to missing ..

Am I really 2 hearted person with everchanging emotions ?

Is this who I am ?

Pain for my previous love and joyful for this very moment de relationship ?

Why do I choose back the old path ?

Why I still bluffing myself.. ?

My actions and heart are the opposite .. they can't synchronise ..

haihz ..

ARRRGHHHH~~~!!!!

I wonder why history have to repeat itself in my life. Now the role turned and I can experience a different way of love. I hate it. It made me look so stupid and the same time so depressed. Hate it hate it hate it ~~!!!!!!!

Its 5am in the morning and I can't sleep again. My mind is now thinking of her. For no reason, today I thought of her a lot. In the afternoon when me and KW they all go to CG to fetch Da Yi, I saw her car at the koko unit. I thought I can see her there. I kept looking out through the window in hope to see her face. To my disappointment, she wasn't outside there. Maybe she's inside ba.

Now I kept thinking of when I will be able to talk to her. Today I totally cannot focus to anything at all. Open books and eventually open my history book as well. History book is always something boring to me but not this memorial history book. Or should I call it my album.

Yesterday, my senior came over my room and asked me whether I had put down this burden. This question I cannot give a positive answer to him. This burden to me is a happy burden that I am willing to take on. Maybe till the day I found another person I like, this will remain as something I treasure the most.

Zuwei, I have no news of you lately but I hope you're in good mood. Hope to see your smile.

Love is so deep... So painful and yet so willing to bear the pain.. Its weird..

Hope You're Alright

These fews days I was wondering how was her doing. But she never really did reply any of my message. As such, I was really wondering what had actually happened. Haihz .. Felt a bit sour when think back.

Anyhow I know she is busy. Maybe she juts never have the time to talk to me but I still do hope to hear her replying me that she is busy. maybe that's the least I wanna hear. Today, Ah Hwa did message me and asked me to ask everyone out. But I think this year cannot be so happy le coz we all cannot go out together. The relationship all changed thoroughly. Hopefully she is happy now ..

Jia You

This few days are just not so easy for me. I know she was thinking of him. I should be sad and angry. But when I think back, I really think its better for me to just be silent. I hope she can be happy. I really hope so. But for no reason I miss her at the same time. I won't mind of she wants to talk to me of him, all I only want is to have her as my good friend who can talk together. I hope for her to have somewhere to release her tension. Let me have her as my good friend. Hope for her to be happy all time. Jia you Zuwei...!!!

I don't Know What I'm Saying Here

PharmNight passed. The night was filled with laughter from all my friends. Evryone dressed up themselves with accessories and gave their best look to everyone. The events went on smoothly though it was not as interesting as last year. The food was just so so but still acceptable. Regretfully, one year had passes.

One year and this year I was not able to have her with me for this year's event. Kinda feel sorrow when I know I had to go alone. I don't know what I really want to say here but I just feel its good for me to talk nonsense here.

My Deep Sca

I hate staying at home for this reason. I wan to just rest and have a easy going day. But what I get is just another day of arguing for something I really treasure a lot. Does everything have to revolve me back to my own past? Why does everything have to be related back to those times? I really tired. I worry and think of many things for my life and my family’s. But it seems pointless for me to worry so much after all. My mum just keeps wanna nag me about me and her. I hate it. Really hate this lot.

To me, my relationship is a dream come true. Its my lifetime experience to be able to love someone so deep that it left a remarkable scar in my heart. That’s my memory but why does my mum need to force me so much ?? I really want to know. I just wanna have a good day at home. Its so tiring at home. I really felt tired.

Zuwei, lately I know that you also have your own problem and I really wish to be listener. I know you don want people to worry of you but I can’t do that for you. Everytime seeing your Facebook posting so many sadness, makes me wanna care for you even more. At least until I can see you happy always in your life. Even if we are meant for each other, I still want to see you happy and filled with joy in your life. And its better when you can find someone who cares for you and suits you. Maybe a guy with the true love for you. I don’t want you to be so sad anymore. Please be happy Zuwei.